The Last Entry for 2005..

So.. How was 2005? well, basically like any other year it has been a roller coaster ride.. the only difference is, this year, i have no complaints. Everything charge to experience without a doubt. I recall a couple of days ago, someone asking me "so.. if you got anything to change in the past year what would it be?".. my answer a couple of days ago was "March to May and probably the first two weeks December (Read the archives if you want info)". Anyways, ask me that question again.. and my answer would be "none".. I wouldn't change a DAMN thing! Why? because i just realized that the instances i want changed are turning points in my so called life.. so why change it right?!

Anyways, this is the last line i'mona write this year..

"IT'S NOT WETHER THIS YEAR OR NEXT YEAR IS THE YEAR.. IT'S HOW YOU MAKE OF IT! and this from As good as it gets.. "You make me want to be a better Man.. go figure!" "

HAPPY NEW YEAR! UNTIL THE NEXT YEAR!! PEACE!!

THE 2005 EDITION OF THIS BLOG SIGNING OUT!

One Way



Pray.. Pray.. Pray.. Pray..

First there was nothing
Not even the faint echo of a song
Loneliness was daily 4 me
until u came along
There was a gleam of stars in your eyes
I thought I'd never feel this way again
But u were the one 2 reach into my heart
And find in me a Friend
I could not ignore the magnetism
that I felt when u were near
And any problems plaguing my mind
would suddenly disappear
It was the rebirth of my heart
The day u became my friend
Because I knew from the moment
I held u that I would find something
like this again...

"Here's a ticket to your haven an the Happiest place on earth.. I enclosed it with a map so you won't get lost".. Merry Christmas

So I Say

I'm going in2 this not knowing what I'll find
but I've decided 2 follow my heart and abandon my mind
and if there be pain I know that at least I gave my all
and it is better 2 have loved and lost than 2 not love at all
In the morning I may wake 2 smile or maybe 2 cry
but first 2 those of my past I must say goodbye.

So now i can write again.. *Whew* and i thought i lost it..

Sometimes they can be the sweetest people in the world.. They treat you as if you are the best person in the world. It's not their job to do that actually, and they don't owe that to you, actually it's you who owe them for your existance right now, But they do that because they want to and because they love you.. and you mean the world to them

Sometimes though they can be the meanest people in the world.. They make you feel like you are low even though you are already at your lowest. They'd sometimes say things that you'd never imagine them to say to you.. words that would just make you break down and crawl for forgiveness for your shortcoming.. even though what you have done is far from criminal. And you know what? most of the time, it just happens that it's not your fault, and they'd still scream at you. Sad if you think about it.. because like what i said, they can be the sweetest people in the world.. and they can do this.. a drag really.. but as hard as it may seem to understand, they do this because they love you. They just go overboard sometimes on what they say or do. They're just scared basically, that something bad may happen to especially to you.

You just have to try and understand that, if you were in their shoes, you probably feel the way they do. it's hard really, it's hard to understand.. but you have to.. it's hard raising parents.. you know.. but that's how it goes..

Mon's Monologue

I don't know what to say really. 21 years into the biggest battle of my life and it all comes down to today. Either i heal as person, or i crumble, inch by inch, play by play.. until i'm finished. I feel like i'm in hell right now ladies and gentlemen, believe me. I can either, sit here and get the shit kicked out of me, or i can fight my way back into the light. I can climb out of this ditch and this doubt and this uncertainty and climb my way out of hell.. one inch at a time.. I know i can do it, but i feel like i can't. I feel as if i'm too old. I look around at your faces and i see young men and women and i think.. i made every wrong choice a teenager can make. I mean, I pissed away my chance in getting a good education, and i think i chased off the person who's dear to me.. lately, i can't even stand to see the face i see in the mirror..

As we get older, some things are taken away.. well that's part of life. You'll only learn that when you start to loose stuff. You find out life is this game of inches! Just like Basketball! Because the margin of error in either game, Basketball or life, are so small.. i mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it, one half a step too slow or too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us! they're in every break of the game, every minute, every second..

I know i'm gonna fight for that inch! I know i'll tear myself and everyone around me in pieces for that inch! I'll claw with my fingernails for that inch.. because I know when you add up all those inches, that's gonna make the FUCKIN' difference between WINNING and LOOSING! between LIVING AND DYING! I'll tell you! because I know, in every fight, the guy who's willing to die is gonna win that inch! And i know, the reason why i still have any kind of life in me, is because i'm still willing to fight and die for that inch! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT LIVING IS!

The inches infront of you! I know i can do it, but i can't do it alone. That's why i look at the person next to me, i look into his or her eyes. And i know i see this person who's willing to go that inch with me. I see this person who's gonna be there for me, because when it comes down to it, he'll know that i'll do the same for him or her! That's a friend ladies and gentlemen..

Now.. it's either i heal as a person.. or i stay as a bullshit individual..
That's life for me people.. that's all there is..

Cupid's Smile

The morning after that night,
I ran outside 2 feel the rain
and I stayed outside awhile
when the rain was done along came the sun
and this was Cupid's Smile!

Run and tell the angel,
This could take all night,
Think I need a devil to help me get things right,
Hook me up a new revolution,
Cause this one ain't a lie,
We sat around laughing and watched the last one ride,

I think I'm done nursing the patience
I can wait a long time,
I'd give it all away if you give me one try,
i'll live happily ever trapped if i continued this fight,
Run and tell the Angel that everything is alright.

I'm looking to the sky to save me,
Looking for a sign of life,
Looking for something to help me burn out bright,
I'm looking for a complication,
Looking cause I'm tired of lying
I'll make my way back home when I learn to fly..

The Tears In Cupid's Eyes

The day I chose 2 tell you
it rained constantly outside
In truth I swore the rain 2 be
The tears in Cupid's eyes..

ROY KEANE IN MADRID?!



Real Madrid say they are considering signing ex-Manchester United captain Roy Keane but have denied reports that he has already passed a medical.
The 34-year-old has been heavily linked with a move to Spain and he could be given a six-month deal at the Bernabeu.

NICE!!!

Question

I Never asked for a Ferrari,
nor Maseratti,
a Ducati,
or the that 355 that dude drives.

I never asked for the Moon,
Nor the Sun,
the Clouds
and the stars in the sky.

I've never asked for something
as big as this in my life,
eventhough so many times of times,
there are alot of tears in my eyes

so please for once,
i'm beggin and praying,
can i have what i want?
so i'll know how it feels like to fly..

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About (From My Mom's Email)

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so
much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in
some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is
because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before
they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves
you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its
back on you, take a look: you most likely turned
your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting
what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you
believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you
will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them;
you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to
let them know that they are great.

I'm sorry for the thing i did,
I'm sorry if i made you think
I jumped off the cliff
and never thought of what if's
Because of this I think acted second rate.
I feel like i stole ten dollars
out of the collection plate
You got my heart, plus you smart
That's the reason why i feel this
Everything i said is true
won't lie to you boo
now that you know about me
Let's get back to before shall we?
This is my public apology

Do you get the feeling when you know it's not right but it feels right?! you know it's not fair but even though it's not, you'll still want to push through with it because you know you will not fail?!.. i mean, ok, it's not right because society will not probably be able to accept it nor, it's not fair because of the YEARS (YOU probably know what i'm talking about).. it's just sad to actually see my non confomist self talking about this since, i've have not been under Big Brother's sight for so long.. and now i start. I seriously don't know what's happening to me.. I mean, i shouldn't be even thinking this way for crying out loud, it's just not right.

All the homies tell me that don't risk it
I contemplate -- but in my heart I know it's worth it
Tell me can you get away?

Soundtrack from the Land of Neverending Beats:
Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes, Belle, Breakdown
2Pac- Me Against the World, R U Still Down [remember me?]
The Notorious BIG - Ready to Die, Life after Death
Wu Tang Clan - The W, 36 Chambers, Forever
DJ Clue - The Professional parts 1 and 2

1st of tha Month

And so i haven't written for the past how long, so anyways, what's up you ask? well.. I'm part of this Script Writing team in our church, and for the past 2 weeks we have been writing the Script for the play we call "One Way: This is OUR Story". 5 music genres meet in one common ground.. Praise Music.. Cool story actually.. hehehe anyways, back to script writing.. Updates soon!