Graveyard.. The Very LAST DAY..

And so this is my very very last time to be here on this godforsaken shift. So, as i put a conclusion to my 6 month endeavor in this shift, I must say that the only important thing i've learned is.. ummm.. i dunno.. Never post anything before the system goes on a Day End? hahaha! anyway.. so far so good..

Graveyard Day 5..

One more good thing about this shift that i forgot to mention the last time is that I get to catch up on some reading. When everything is quiet and I've done technically everything that's to be done, I get to read till the day breaks.. Right now, I'm bout done with the book I stole from Cocoy 3 days ago, which Brian isn't sure if he borrowed it from Vic called "I Am Legend" by Richard Matheson. The movie is about to come out on the 14th with Will Smith as the lead, but comparing from what i've read and from what i've been seeing in the trailers.. I think I'll like the book better right after watching the movie.. Well it's always been like that, that's why I kinda pity those novelists who allow their masterpieces to be turned into a movie. Probably the best "Book-turned-into-a-Movie" was Lord of the Rings.. i have nothing to say about that, i mean, i think everyone would agree with me when i day that, that movie is the epitome of an Epic.. Specially the Two Towers.. Anyway, i'll stop it right here.. My inner Geek is starting to come out.

So on other things.. Champions Leage is about to start so.. Yeah.. Till tomorrow.. the Last day of Graveyard.. FORZA INTER!!

Graveyard Day 4..

So Anyway, Everythings been great since the last time I checked in. I finally able to sleep in for more that 4 hours, hear mass, have a family dinner complete with Sanchboogie, Sabrina and Sieg (I haven't seen them in so long) and finally me and the girl are ok. So I guess everything's been looking up.. I just hope this "OK" feeling lasts though.

So in other things, Mom suggested that we spend Christmas in Hong Kong or somewhere else. It's been awhile since we last spent Christmas somewhere else other than here. Actually I can't even recall the last time we spent Christmas elsewhere. So according to her, it wouldn't be so bad to spend it in Hong Kong just for a change in scenery. Well, actually, i don't really mind.. i kinda like the idea of spending this specific holiday out of the country just to see how much people i'll miss and how much gimmicks i'll be missing out on and how homesick i'll get! hahaha!

Anyway, So Far so Good.. 1 Week to go.. this is gonna be the longest 1 week in my life..

Graveyard.. Day 2

You know I just hate being on this shift right? to to everything off.. It's a weekend. Everybody's in Fiamma right now partying and stuff since it's Jolyn's and Boogs' birthday and I'm stuck here in the desk. Oh yeah, did I to mention that Fiamma is just two city blocks away from where work? MOTHERFU****K! And with everthing being everywhere right now? I badly need a drink..

On other things, I know I'd rather be partying that being on the desk right now but in a way, I'm kinda greatful that i'm in this shift right now (Weird right? and I Keep complaining). Well, since everything is everywhere with me and the girl, It's been hard trying to sleep for the past week.. It's just messed up you know.. It's like insomia all over again but with a whole different concept. This time, the mind is working overtime and the body is ready to shut down.. Pretty messed up really. And as much as I want to be hooked on the tube playing the Wii the whole night.. I'd rather just try and get some sleep you know?

Moving on, in a few weeks time, I'm back to being a free man. I can't really elaborate on that right now but you'll see.. I just can't wait for that day.. More on that when it actually happens..

So.. To my last weekend at this shift.. THANK YOU GOD!

Gravyard.. Day 1

It's almost 6am and the sun isn't up.. looks like it's gonna be another gloomy day..

Perfect..

Played follow the leader, keeping the steps in time
Counting on the wonder ahead, I leave the pain behind

It's on me, It's all mine
Don't go away
They're my mistakes
They're not your problem

Pinned down in this heaven, I'm dying a thousand times
Aware of the damage ahead, can't leave the pain behind

Another day, a perfect day, A twinge of pain
The sting of a needle, staring at the walls
provide a brilliant sight, through eyes of the needle

So warm at the bottom, warm never felt so kind
And for a moment or two, can't leave it all behind

it's on me, it's all mine
Dont' go away
thier my mistakes
their not your problems

Black dog, white picket fences, mow them down
And dance in the riptide, face down in consequences
Crack me up, and stay on your own side

Another day, a perfect day, a twinge of pain
The sting of a needle, staring at the walls
provide a brilliant sight, through eyes of the needle

I wish I may
I wish I might
I pray my soul
To keep tonight
'Cause all the walls
Are staring back
A perfect day
A sting for the last time...

....

There's this line i keep on telling people whenever they're confused, or being fickled about something important or just something they can decide on..

" It doesn't matter what you do, or what anybody says because at the end of the day, when you're lying on you bed alone with just your thoughts, it's still up to you on what you decide on doing"

The reason probably why I'm able to say that is because, it happens to me all the time, thus I'm like this. I'm able to look numb and all that during the day when everything is on the fast lane. But at the end of the whole thing, when the night cap is over, everything is gathered and i become this person who's vunerable enough to be pushed around.

I'm writing all this down tonight because the line I mentioned awhile ago is hitting me in a different perspective. It's just that right at this moment, 12:55 am 19th of November 2007, I realize that i have become the person i swore to not be and hate.. There's no point on hiding it anymore. I've done the damage. No matter how big or how small it is.. Someone still got hurt because of my actions..

I'm sorry.. like what i said the other night, no words nor entries nor phrases can explain what i did.. no matter how pure my intentions were.. i did what i did, and i regret it like anything.. I lost one of the most precious things i cherish in my whole life.. which is a friend..

What is my Greatest fear?: My greatest fear is that i'm not incompetent, but i'm powerful beyond measure.. It's my light that i fear not my darkness..

#40

Share the time again
I spend with you
A friend is always good to have
But a lovers kiss is better than angels raining down at me
I dream of you at times
When your by my side
Dream you're not just like you are
So troubled and doubling my pain
Just one more tear
You shed for me

I wish that i could climb inside your mind
And spend some time in there hug and hold you
And mold you into what I'd like
Lord, i can't do this
Just a kiss to spend a while by you
And a familiar smell and voice
While I lay waiting
Then you lean back and smiling
On you
Most everything you do for me, I say
And the while let's make our way
And feel warm
In the middle of this storm with you
Love will grow, angel..

Oh well, oh the friends the say oh she's good, oh she's right
I say
When you were again
When you were my friend
Before the lie,
This one
Say, say... oh yes
Yes I do
And with you
Sometimes
But while i do my best
With all the rest I leave to you
Can't wait for the hour
When two things become this
Always All this trouble from a kiss from you
I'll do it
And then you come up smiling
And I'm thrown
Until I get a little storm with you, I'll do it

Always, all the love
Lovers, line up and yeah
Impossible, but lead you go oh but a loves stole
The road to you is long and
I've been on it for a while
And I need a warm embrace
I'll take a break
And decide I want to leave you awake
Always
And you are all there
Time, I'll give it
And I feel
Tired...

Like a Diamond from Sierra Leone..

How can something so wrong feel so right..?

5 Years..

5 Years, and still.. can it be all that simple?! Yeah, today officially marks my fifth official blogging year. And frankly, for the past five years, i've been writing from the sould and i ain't got no plans of retracting whatever it is i've written, so for those who got hit.. well.. you had that coming so just suck it in and move on..

So anyway, i haven't complained about work for the past few months so now I think is the time to complain again. Today, was my performance appraisal and after six months of bloody work, i find out that I ain't gonna be regularized till December well that ain't sure yet but fuck if i'n not by then i don't know what's wrong anymore... Till December.. what the hell?!?! It's been a very very very long Six months and fuck, I don't want to even say it anymore but Fuck.. I think I deserved to get regularized.. Seriously.. I've worked too damn hard already..

They said that i've got to be more "Enthusiastic" with what I do.. Enthusiastic?! c'mon man, how enthusiastic can a person get?! does that mean they want me to prance around the front desk everytime my shift is about to start and mope everytime it's about to end?! Jesus, Man, i don't know what to do anymore.. Oh yeah, how can i forget.. I bring a "negative vibe" around the desk? you got to be serious.. a Negative Vibe?! now i don't know where this came from.. but damn, i'm sure it ain't coming from me..

To the Person who answered "Mon is Mon" when he or she was asked how i was at the desk: Well.. you don't know me so, how're you able to say Mon is Mon? Get your facts straight..

And I Heard Em' Say..

And so I haven't blogged in awhile.. So Anyway, the Graveyard Vigil is finally over and i'm back to my regular 3 - 12mn sched. Though, the only problem is, all of the cars are in the shop.. Thus, I'm bound for the bus in the next two weeks.. It's easy commuting in the early morn though late at night it could be a struggle. You know what i mean? And I seriously don't mind commuting to and from work, it actually saves me alot of cash, but since my sched usually ends late at night, it can be quite a drag.. So C'est La Vie... i hope i get to use the expedition tomorrow, but shit the parking is gonna be a challenge if ever i do get to use that..

Anyway, so far so good.. the off yesterday was well spent. A Brother's Pounder at Brother's Burger + a Late night trip to the drugstore at the market + a cookie Skilet at Tony Romas + A nostalgic Street Fighter 2 and Mario 3 trip at the 64 inch = One Fine Night. What more could you ask for right? and oh yeah, how can i forget? the stars were up, So i guess everything was going the way it should be..

**Hun, one more thing you should know about me; when the sky resembles a back lit canopy with holes punched in it, it's my night.. enough said :)

Graveyard Shift.. Day 3

So fat so good.. I've survived three days in this shift without having to stab anyone or getting the shivers. Anyway, there hasn't been anything blog worthfor the past three days, thus i skipped blogging yesterday.. Well, for whatever it's worth, awhile ago around four thirty in the morning (it's already six by the way) an Arab aquired two prostitutes who he thought were Girls.. Apparently they're transvestites and when he found out that they both had a piece, he refused to pay them and called security.. I was actually surprised that he didn't try to kill them..

So the Transvestites' story when they were being questioned was they've already had sex and the Arab didn't want to pay them in full.. And the Arab's story was when he found out that they both had a piece he didn't want to do nothing with them anymore..

Actually, Me and Jenn (the Supervisor), didn't know who to believe.. so who do you think is telling the truth?! Your Comments would be much appreciated! hahaha!!

Graveyard shift.. Day 1

So here starts my six day grand-vigil in the graveyard shift (yes, i complain alot so shoot me). Actually there's no use complaining now since the schedule has been finalized and one more thing, once you're in the graveyard shift there's no way that your sched can change.. You're gonna have to wait for your day-off.. So hence I'll be here for the next six days..

Anyway.. I've said it before and i'll say it again. If you don't like what your reading in this blog then don't read it. I just don't understand how people don't understand what a blog is supposed to be. Ok, this is my public service for this month.. to basically explain to the confused or to the fickled, what a blog is..

Item One:

Blog (blŏg)
Definition: An online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called Weblog, Web log
Example: Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.
Etymology: shortened form of Weblog
Usage: blog, blogged, blogging v, blogger n

Ok, now notice the third word on the definition "Diary".. So this basically means that i can say whatever the hell it is that I want to say since a diary is a personal record of events or feeling or attitude the writer has experienced.. Ok, now let's look at the word "Personal" which means pertaining to personal property which basicially means since this is my "Personal Diary", I can write whatever i want into it..

So what i'm trying to say is, if you didn't like what's written the last time, what make you think that you'll like what's written the next time? catch my drift? and just for the record.. What I wrote wasn't actually something to have a riot about. What I wrote is how I felt not against you guys but about the system which I don't like..

So to "THE" people who got affected by what I wrote this time.. Pleaaase read the entry carefully and try to understand what's written before you throw a fit or something or react alright?

CIAO!