Seriously.. and this time, i'm not drunk..

I'm not a person who accepts defeat just like that.. For those who REALLY know me, i may not show that i'm like that.. but deep inside i am.. i do not know when enough is enough.. your gonna have to tell me when enough is enough for me to actually know that whatever i'm doing is enough.. may it be good or bad. Some say it's a good trait, they say i'm a "fighter" for being like that, but in all honesty, that so called trait either get's me into so much trouble or into so much shit more than it gets me to what it is that i really want...

So anyway, this is addressed to you and you know who you are. Yeah, ok.. first up, FINE!!, you win. It's hard for me to swallow this and you know that.. YOU WIN!

I mean, just to explain myself.. you got me.. i fell into the God forsaken ditch.. it's not deep yeah? and i wasn't actually expecting you to actually try and catch me, but i was kinda hoping you'd give me hand you know? at least a helping hand so it would be easier for me to get up since we go way back.. but you didn't since like what you said "you rather just keep everything inside rather than just say it" so.. i imagine you, just standing infront of the ditch watching me crawl up.. The only good thing that i can remember right now is while i'm crawling up, you were still talking to me yeah? and we're still calling each other names like "Jack" or something that's in the breakfast menu of this restaurant that serves really good tacos.. Funny because i feel so stupid to actually think that i'd get "Kudos" from you for trying to get out of that ditch by myself.. i guess i was wrong.. or maybe you're just like that since you don't say much when it comes to things like that.

Do I Sound Emo? or Do i sound like you? if and that's only if.. you actually say something..

Anyway, i'm not saying goodbye, since i'm still gonna be here and this is my space.. i was here first.. You know what, If this happens to a normal person, he or she would probably just stop everything and just walk away.. never to be seen by you or the others connected to you (you know who i'm talking about).. but like i said.. like they said.. "I'm a fighter".. i just don't know when to give up.. there you go..

You've may have won this battle... but from what i see.. we've only just begun..

The First Tagalog Blog of the Year..

Kasi Ganito yan eh.. kahit anong gawin ko, kahit anong pa-ikot-ikot ko sa kama ko, kahit anong laro ko ng futbol, punta sa gym at magpaka pagod at tumakbo pa-iko-ikot sa loob nang alabang.. may gusto talaga ako sa iyo. Akala ko na pag ginawa ko lahat ng gusto ko, makakalimutan ko ang aking pagnanais sa iyo, ngunit hindi talaga.. Nasabi ko pa nga na ipagpapalit ko ang aking futbol para sa iyo at at least nandun ako kung nasaan ka? sus mariya! eh kung sa nanay ko hindi ko magawa yon.. eh sino ka ba? isang sabi mo lang gagwin ko na.. easy lang ha! tancha ko, di lang kita gusto.. ewan ko ba kung ano yung tawag sa termino na mas malupit pa sa "di lang kita gusto" pero malamang yun na yun.. Bahala ka na kung ano tawag dun.. basta.. yun na yun..

Your results:
You are Juggernaut

Juggernaut 66% Apocalypse 61% Mystique 58% Kingpin 57% Magneto 56% Dark Phoenix 56% The Joker 55% Lex Luthor 55% Mr. Freeze 53% Catwoman 52% Dr. Doom 52% Venom 50% Green Goblin 50% Two-Face 42% Riddler 37% Poison Ivy 36%

Your strength and determination are difficult to stop.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

The Phenom Moves to San Siro



The Phenomenon Ronaldo Moves to AC Milan tonight.. Today is a sad day for Madridistas.
Thank You and Good Luck R9!

Can't Get My Hands On

I should have turned back,
I should have known better,
i should have walked away on the feeling,

i said it tonight, i'll say it forever,
and this time i really gonna mean it...
Have you ever heard me scream i love you?
this place is safe and sound
Your probably glued on t.v.
Your something i can't get my hands on..
This isn't what I imagined..

I'd like for this to end..
I'd like for this to stop
Your something i can't get my hands on..

The last time I saw you, you turned away..
Maybe you couldn't see me with the sun shining in your eyes..
I said, 'Hello,' but you kept on walking..
Maybe you've gone deaf from the sound of the people laughing..

The last time I saw you, you turned away..
Maybe You couldn't hear me with my voice ringing in your ears.
Do you remember we used to hang sometimes?
Maybe you couldn't feel Me.. Since i may always feel so far away..

The first time I saw you, didn't turn away..
It was funny since there were a lot of people in our way..
I said, 'Hello,' and you stopped walking.
Maybe because before i haven't got any feelings that were blocking..

The first time I saw you, you didn't turn away.
We even sang jack johnson with screaming noises ringing in our ears..
Do you remember where we to hang sometimes?
I don't know why you couldn't feel me.. I was never far away..

If I could, I'd only wanna' make you smile...
If you wanna' stay with me a while...

The next time I see you, you'll turn away...
I'll say, 'Hello,' but you'll keep on walking...
The next time you see me.. I think.. I'll turn away...

But Still..
If I could, I'd only wanna' make you smile...
If you wanna' you could stay with me a while...

(Edited form the +44 song..)

The Statement..

I Hope and pray you get to read this.. this is the side that you wish not to see, not to acknowledge, and i bet you don't want to hear.. this is my statement to you..

It started with a song about the rain and breakfast and evolved to being the unforseen connections to what's a beautiful relationship now.. we never thought it would come to this.. maybe it's just me.. i never thought, imagined and even put an idea to this happening, but it did. At the begining i never wanted this but something inside told me that i wouldn't be able to get away from this so i accepted it..

For whatever it's worth, yeah i still do.. what's there to actually do something about it? i mean, it's there i can't take it out of my system, no matter what i do. Actually, it's feels miserable in a good way to actually acknowledge this towards you since for some reason i know it's not right, or maybe not the right time.. and knowing that if does push through which i doubt.. it's going to be, as society would probably put it pretty fucked up.. i don't know if you'd care, but from what you say you are is what you are, you shouldn't.. because i sure don't..

I've said my piece.. now it's your turn..

23

Rise and shine, make you wanna say
Dear God, let me thank you for another day
For livin' life on the edge and I'm tryin' to break it
Tired of duckin' the shits, but it's a struggle to make it
So this is your day homey, now it's time to shine
If a player's only trickin', you can wine and dine
Stress free from the drama, better go get your ticket
Then come on cause some squares can't lie to kick it
It feels good not to grind no moreDon't get it twisted cause I still hustle
Maintainin' just tryin' to reach my goal
Livin' life truly successful
So that my little soldier never have to sell no dope
All the Cutties from the pens comin' home again
And we ain't tryin' to kill each other cause brother we all in
Beautiful women give 'em much respect
And ain't no funk 'tween the east and the west
It's just a Player Holiday

Today's the day the Players play
So you better be on your way
Now it's time to celebrate
Hurry up and don't be late
Cause you know it's gonna be a...

Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day

January 15 the year 07
We gettin' all the money and we ain't through clownin'
You can tell everybody that stays around your way
Today is the official Player's Holiday
YO VIC!! I'm lovin' every minute of it
Cause ballin's been around since the beginning of it
We barbecuin' chicken, that's what we doin'
Buy some breezys and we kickin'
And BRI what you doin?

He's just sittin there timin' like a Rolex watch
I figured by now y'all realize that Hip-Hop and Rap won't stop
Puttin' it together like a racing track
Where's all my Latino, Filipino, and Ese partners at?
I know you feel me when I say that life's a struggle
But God first, y'all know we all can't help but bubble
So keep your head up
And know that things are changing for the better
Talkin' 'bout the youth, the little kids
Forget about you, never

Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day

A Minute for Your Son (Part 2)

I look at life a little different now, since you hugged me
And I always loved my peoples, but now they love me
Thank you for the love Lord, we praise ya
Jacob's descendants, from Africa to Asia
Pleadin the blood of Christ over our life
Wrong or right, just help us make it through the night and we'll
shout yo' name in times of need
And times of joy, and, when we bleed
And, when we are overcome with greed
You ain't gon' half to tell me twice, I'ma take heed
And because of what you've given me, I know you'll deliver me
And I won't drown no matter how deep the river be
You are the strength I, never knew I had
Kept the heart good when they told me it was bad
All praises due to ya
That's why I had to dedicate somethin new to ya, thank you father

1st Entry..

Start the year right, Outreach last week at St. Andrews Church in La Huerta somewhere in the Paranaque area. Doing this makes you feel humble and a little bit lucky that your not the one being given rations of food and a free meal.. 300 + people showed up and we were just 50 +. Hard yeah? but that's how it is, not a lot of people would sacrifice a perfectly good saturday to serve the less fortunate.. to be honest i wasn't even supposed to show up, i just wasn't doing anything so there.. but nevertheless i was there and i helped.. "kaching!! one point in my Heavenly Acoount" hehe..

Anyway, there isn't much to talk about as of now since it's just the second week of the month and the year.. also there isn't much to say about my job hunting since alot of callcenters have been annoying my ass for the past few days.. i'm seriously not interested in that line of work.. I mean, answering phones and hearing complains from americans?! what the hell.. just can't handle that shit (No Offense to Bri, Tik and my other friends that works in one).. i just refuse to be a slave hooked up to a phone while sitting in front of a computer in the wee hours of the morning listening to screaming anerican red neck garbage who i know has far less education than i have..

Just yesterday, i just found out that we might actually migrate to Canada before this year ends.. so i guess the states is postponed for me (sarcastically jumping for joy). Postponed for a worse fate before November this year.. oh well.. Like what i always say "C'est La Vie".. just go with the flow and adapt to the new environment. Fuck..

Anyway.

Earth to Bella.. you think you've got it all figured in..
Earth to Bella.. Everything you know is wrong.. Well, almost..
Earth to Bella.. I see where you are not listening
I bear the burden of being the voice that let's you know
We all grow old.. And before you swim you've gotta be okay to sink

Earth to Bella.. The world can be an unfriendly place
So hold your head up.. Do your best to save some face
It's not so hard.. Just undo yourself and see your second sun
Ascend..

2006..

So it's goodbye 2006 and whattup to 2007.. Like every year, we got good days and bad days and all that, but to sum it all up this year was good.. Italy won the World cup for the 4th time, Miami wins the NBA Championship fot the first time, Canavarro, Emerson and van Nistelrooy goes to Real Madrid just name a few good things.. though Juventus was Relagated to Serie B due to the Calciopoli Scandal, at least they are doing well.. well.. that's just for sports..

About me.. well, my graduation was this year's peak.. other than that.. well, i got nothing more. maybe there are some but it ain't as significant as that.

Anyway.. 2006 signing out.. the next entry is next year.. PEACE!!!

You Only Know What you see.. You Don't Understand what it takes to Be Me...

A Minute for your Son (Part 1)

You got a minute for your son father? I need to talk..
I'm so tired of tryin to run father, let's take a walk..
I'm so sorry for what I done father, it ain't my fault..
But the devil's been on my back lately, he's like a hawk
You never give us more than we can handle, but it's gettin hard
And I'm a strong individual, but I need you God
Lot of things that I used to, I don't wanna
run the streets like I used to, I know I'm gonna
speak the word for you one day
Up in there like, "Hallelujah!" on Sunday
I thank you Lord for the blessings that you gave me
And for my life with the blessings you have saved me
And for my life you have carried me enough times - and that's the truth
stuck with me to rough times, throughout my youth
And through it all I saw that you was still with me
I was that one lost sheep and you was comin to get me..

Relapse...

Maybe i'm just drunk.. or maybe it's real since i've been feeling this for the past few days, and i can still type my HTML codes properly.. or maybe weeks.. i just don't speak about it. Just so that you know, i feel much better than before. it's just a relapse.. maybe an indigestion.. or maybe i just got too much to drink (two pitchers of beer all to myslef maybe!?) or maybe it's real.. i don't know. all i know is it's just not right.. maybe not right now.. maybe not tomorrow.. or next year.. or in five or ten years... or God know how long.. or maybe it's just a relapse... or maybe i just miss her, or maybe i want to be with her. God knows.. because i sure don't...

Ruud Misses the Winning Penalty..



After coming back from being down 2-0 , Ruud Van Nistelrooy, on the 89th minute missed what should have been the winning goal against Olympique Lyonnaise on match day 5 of the UEFA Champions League. Nevertheless, their 2-2 draw secures the whites a place in the final 16 knock-out phase.

---

It's really over, you made your stand
You got me stunned, as well as you planned
But when my loneliness is through,
.... I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
.... I'm gonna find another you

When i was your lover
No one else would do
If i'm forced to find another i hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now i'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
.... I'm gonna find another you

It's a good day to be a Filipino



MANNY PACQUIAO FOR PRESIDENT! HAHAHAHA!

Happy Expiration..

This month officially marks my fourth year of blogging.. what can i say? four years of compiled episodes, epiphanies, free verse thoughts, spoken word and much morse crazy shit that i can't even think about anymore.. haha! well.. after four years, still.. CAN IT BE ALL THAT SIMPLE?!... now i can say Yes it can. This past four years has taught me alot of crazy shit about this so called life of ours but just a few months back (or maybe i just realized it just a few months back but i've been doing it all along) that we can refuse not to make our life complicated and adapt to what's there in front of us so that everything would be straight.. i haven't got the whole thing about this out of my head yet so feel free to ask or email me about this shit..

Anyway, haven't blogged for almost a month.. why? blame my playstation and Final Fanatsy 12. Yeah, Yeah, i know i know.. there's too much angst in my blog but i become a dork in front of the freakin Playstation! Whatever!.. say what you want.. if it's a good game, i'm playing it! hahaha moving on.. i still refuse to get a job, planning to postpone it to after christmas but i'll be passing my resume around starting tomorrow..


well.. that's it for now.. hope i blog tomorrow..

"This is a blog without tight production. The Content is just as important as the passion and meaning the average reader reads, Thus making the Lyricist's job difficult. 4 years made and still a lot to go with both Lyricist-slash-Experiences, Don't get it twisted. It's still not a game..
CAN IT BE ALL THAT SIMPLE!?"

HALA MADRID!! 2 - 0 IN THE EL CLASSICO!



MADRID WINS THE FIRST LEG OF THE EL CLASSICO WITH AN EARLY GOAL FROM RAUL AND AN EARLY 2ND HALF GOAL FROM RUUD VAN NISTELROOY!

HALA MADRID!

Bumming with 260 Gigs of Memory and the Semi - Family Reunion..

A week after my well deserved march on the stage of PICC.. i am bored to my skull. I'm seriously in need of something to do other than hang around the house online and trip with the Playstation. One of these days, i swear to God i might just take up Tai-Chi and knitting just so that i could eliminate this boredom.

6 Years in the Making..

Finally.. after years and years of Unwanted subjects (Algebra 101 and Business Math 2), Crappy ass inconsiderate professors (you know who you are..), Countless hours of long breaks, Subjects from 6 - 9 pm, field trips to Banaue, Subic, Singapore - Brunei and to God knows where, Long Enrollment and Adjustment lines, Sleepless nights right before course card distributions, 0.0's and R's to 1.0's to 4.0 grades, Short Term-Breaks (1 week worth and it includes adjustment and enrollment), 1 month worth of summer vacations, leave of absences, floods in taft avenue and an overnight stay in Angelo king since we couldn't head out because of the flood, girls with hazel eyes and girls with gullible behaviors, thousands of oil burns in my hand, a million cuts from different kinds of knives, messed up chefs coats and after function after function after function..... i finally made it.... as of 11:30 am this morning.. i am a graduate. and you know what.. without those complains i listed above, the six years i have gone throught in the College of Saint Benilde wouldn't be as significant as it..

To all the crazy ass professors who's got serious issues against me and said that i wouldn't make it.. "I throw my middle finger to you guys.. FUCK YOU ALL!! hahaha!"

To all my mentors especially Mr. Gil Acuna, Chef Pam Obieta, Chef Joey Lontoc, Chef Joey Pratts, Chef Jo Tan, Ms. Del Ignacio, Mr. Alfonso Dangat, Mr. Jamie Flores, Mr. Lem Cacho, Mr. Arun Gogna, Mr. Angelo Lacson, Chef Shirley Joseph and Chef Bambi Lichauco.. "Tonight I drink to you Guys.. Thank you for the support.."

To all my blockmates and friends.. Brian, JJ, Jon, Aaron, Veto, Mitch, Car Car, Rica, Tina, Grace, Paul Tan, Cesca, Gina, Gabal, Cai, Tasha, Issa, Ayni, Ainee, Ackee, the whole batch 101 H11, Cathy, Catherine, Jona, Pam, Jec, Matt, Celine, Angelo, JC, Levs, Del, Felix, Hachie, Laurie, Mallows, Cleo, Claud, The Starback Crew and to Christopher's Chicken Chicken.. "We Drink tonight.. Thank you"

To all My brothers Down South, The 7th district of AAV to the Roots, to the people that's been down since day 1.. Thank you..

Lastly to God and the Dynasty.. Thank you.. no words can express my gratitude especially to my father.. who's stuck with me through out.. i got nothing but love..

PEACE.. To the Next Step!